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Photographer Smedley Whiplash MM#233801 from Montana had an entertaining way of describing his experience at the Jan 30th Shoot The Centerfold seminar. Here’s what he had to say:

I went. It was pretty awesome.  They had a short group orientation and review of each photographer – David Mecey, Jarmo (who last name starts with a “P”, but only Jarmo can pronounce it… which I personally find suspicious. Perhaps he could change it to “Binks” ), and Arny Freytag.

David Mecey’s set-

David was full of energy (for such an old decrepit fossil of a guy), and had much to say. And then he said more. And more.  And the more he said, the more he made me want to work hard at being a better photographer. His enthusiasm is downright contagious. His session was geared towards a ‘guerrilla’ approach – in other other words, the set lighting was meant to be spontaneous, changing at a moment’s notice to suit a variety of poses from the model, Melissa Jean MM# 546548, who was dazzling (especially in contrast to the rapidly aging David…)   David wasn’t afraid to boldly use a single light, or to casually add one or two more (if he had too).

And now, because of David, I will be compelled to buy a tent. Never in a million years did I think a tent could be hot, but now… I find a two man tent to be sexy as hell, and I shall endeavor to scout up a location to pitch my tent.

David also has a kick-ass book or two available to buy on Blurb.com. I will buy them as soon as I get done buying a sleigh full of lights that Arny insisted I acquire immediately, if not sooner.

Jarmo “Binks” Pblahblah’s set   (look it up, it won’t help you much) okay fine. It’s Pohjaniemi, which when spoke aloud, sounds like clearing your throat.

Jarmo Pohjaniemi’s set-

Jarmo is an adorable jumping bean. No wonder Arny would like to kick his ass. I kid, I kid. Jarmo wants you to be better in every way – a better photographer, a better business man, a visionary, a better voyeur, a man without fear, and a cockier punk then you’ve ever dared to be before. The thing I hate about Jarmo (pronounced “Yarmo”… crazy-ass Finlanders anywho), is that in spite of him only being 4 months younger then me, he looks 20 years younger.  ::shakes fists!!!::   The Gods smile on that dude.

For such a whimsical and charming man, his set was pretty damn controlled (a discipline he most likely stole from Arny, while Arny was probably getting cucumber slices stuck to his eyelids at a tatoo/sushi bar parlor in a lowdown part of L.A. somewhere) I made that up, but it wouldn’t actually surprise me. Jarmo explained the purpose of each light, and shot a series to illustrate the build of the lighting scheme. He was also very active about working one on one with each of us, making suggestions about our shots and how we could improve our shots of Ksenia Tsiulina, who could hold her smile longer then the Mona Lisa. Lovely man. (i can only hope he gets a wrinkle in his forehead someday) Or, that next year when he turns 50, the AARP will contact him to model for them.

Arny Freytag’s set-

It was Arny who surprised the frickin bejesus out of me. Here’s a career vet who had every right to be the most pompous snob on the planet (we’re not worthy)… and yet, he was the most soft spoken gentleman, and yeah, I might even use the word elegant to describe him. Yup, elegant. (I think I just heard him giggle when I wrote that). Holy Hannah, I must have listened to all those best friends of mine (and my mama) who somehow managed to typecast Playboy photographers as proliferous letches, screwing the model first, and then sending her to makeup. Boy was I misled. I would have been as thrilled to have coffee with him as I would have been to to be on his set. The man would make a terrific friend.

Arny was genuine, cordial, interested, and engaging. His demeanor blew my mind. His set was impeccable (not withstanding he was short about 25 lights), but he made the most of the mere 14ish he had. It was clear he had thought the set all the way through, and was interested in every pixel of set detail being accounted for. (floor to rear wall) He also isolated each light so we could see what his intent was with each bit of illumination, all the while explaining his thought process, and his working relationship with the model, Kyra Milan MM#1404703, who was astoundingly gorgeous and genuinely personable.

And, it was Arny who made me spend the most money… since as soon as i got home I realized that 6-7 lights was pure chicken scratch, a rather pathetic under-utilization of my immense potential. But it was Jarmo that made me get the strip boxes. I’m not sure who inspired me to get a few Morris mini’s, but I have a sneaking suspicion it was Freytag. I have so far resisted the urge to buy a ring-flash (as if I were some sort of Terry Richardson want-a-be), but dammit… David makes me want one of those ridiculous things.

And then there was Jon. The dude rocks out with his… well, you know. I gotta get me one of him. Jarmo’s lucky as hell to have such a great manager/promoter. If they ever perfect a cloning machine, I’m going to get me a Jon. (probably a second generation model, in case the first one’s have kinks…)

Finally, each photographer’s crew was pretty awesome. It’s pretty cool when you find yourself lamenting that you never were a crew member for some hotshot shooter. But these guys made being part of a crew sexy, like some strange cuckhold submissive ‘yes master’ kind of a thing.

So, was it worth the money?  hmmm…. let me think. You have three master photographers instructing you on their sets, with 3 perfect models, an amazing MUA, and a whole crew of guys on each set to assist you, and they give you breakfast and lunch. All for $500.   Are you kidding me?  If you tried that at home it would cost you around 50 grand, and that’s only if they felt like it, which they wouldn’t. Hell yes it’s worth it.

Smedley Whiplash